14 Horrible Moments in Valentine's Day History

For the happily married or otherwise intimately involved, Valentine's Day conjures up images of romance, flowers, candlelit dinners and romantic getaways. The lonely and lovelorn, however, dread the date each year as if their taxes were due. Those who think they've had a miserable February 14th in the past might just take solace in the fact that they really have no idea just how bad it can get. There's a sinister side to the holiday that remains largely unmentioned - a darker history of death and despair. Although we still celebrate it today, Saint Valentine was actually removed from the calendar of celebrated saints' days in 1969 - perhaps due to the array of hideous events which have occurred on the date throughout history. And with that, please try to enjoy the 14 most truly horrible events in the history of Valentine's Day:

The first known association of Valentine's Day with romantic love is in 1382's "Parlement of Foules" by Geoffrey Chaucer, but the earliest origins of the holiday can be found hundreds of years earlier. The date was likely named in honor of a priest who was clubbed, stoned and then beheaded in the 3rd century for marrying young couples in contravention of Claudius II's edict forbidding marriage. That's not the sort of cheery story one might expect for the origin of a holiday devoted to romance and love!

King Henry VIII declares by Royal Charter that England will celebrate February 14th as "Saint Valentine's Day". To Recognize a King best remembered for marrying six women, divorcing two of them and then beheading two more as the formal founder of Valentine's Day might cause a few modern snickers. Back then, however, a giggle in Hank's presence would have surely landed you in the dreaded Tower of London - your only date being that of your execution.

For Elisha Gray, who applied for a caveat on the same day Alexander Graham Bell applied for his telephone patent, the holiday was definitely not a cause for celebration. Bell's name is the 5th entry on the U.S. Patent Office's list; Gray's was 39th. Holding the patent gave Bell the exclusive right to produce phones in the USA for the next 19 years and solidified his place in history. Elisha likely enjoyed a candlelit dinner for one

One chilly morning in prohibition-era Chicago, tardiness makes George "Bugs" Moran's holiday the first Valentine's Day of the rest of his life. By the time he arrived at his garage on North Clark Street seven of his gang had already been riddled by Thompson sub-machine gun bullets courtesy of Al Capone's rival hoods in the infamous event known as the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre". Moran's men had admitted five of Capone's men to the garage because two of them were disguised as police officers and driving a stolen squad car.

Alexandra Hospital in Malaysia is the scene of an even worse massacre a very unlucky 13 years later during the Battle of Singapore. Invading Japanese troops began by bayoneting Lt. Western, the British medical officer who surrendered to them with a white flag and then went on to kill more than 300 other doctors, nurses and patients.

Lt. General J. DeWitt, Commanding General of the Western Defense Command, sends a memorandum to Secretary of War Henry L. Stimson recommending the removal of Japanese from the Western Coast of the USA stating, "There are indications that the very fact that no sabotage has taken place to date is a disturbing and confirming indication that such action will be taken." Five days later President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, giving the War Department the authority to designate military zones "from which any or all persons may be excluded." Home evictions and internment of those of Japanese lineage continued until December of 1944.

British and American forces bomb the German city of Dresden for two days straight. Estimates vary from 35,000 to 135,000 dead but there is no question that "precision saturation bombing" using incendiary bombs successfully created a firestorm which devastated the population. Each small fire joined with others until the city was ablaze; the oxygen being sucked into the fire created tornado like winds pulling everything, and everyone, into the white hot flames. Those who weren't burned to death were asphyxiated as the flames consumed all of the available oxygen.

Malcolm X's home is firebombed but no injuries are reported. After 15 years of involvement with the Nation of Islam X's approach to Black Nationalism varied from those of Elijah Muhammad to such an extent he announced the formation of his own Harlem-based organization. Malcolm X received a number of death threats as he became openly critical of the Nation of Islam and Elijah Muhammad's behaviour in particular. Eleven days after the firebombing, in front of a crowd of hundreds including his pregnant wife and three of their children, he was assassinated by three men with ties to the Nation of Islam.

Under the Native Administration Act of 1927 the community at Mogopa, west of Johannesburg in South Africa, had been designated a "Black spot". 300 homes and a cluster of community buildings were bulldozed in the last of the forcible resettlements carried out by the military under Apartheid. It would be more than a decade before the courts returned all of their lands to those who had been "resettled"

Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini broadcasts a "fatwa" on Tehran Radio calling on Muslims to kill Salman Rushdie, author of "The Satanic Verses," a novel he condemned as blasphemous. Rushdie remained "underground" until Iranian President Mohammed Khatami withdrew state support of the fatwa in 1998.

The last of the remaining Jahalin Bedouin families in Palestine are forcibly removed from an encampment which they had occupied for over 40 years so as to facilitate the expansion of the Ma'ale Adumim settlement. On May 28, 1996 the Israeli High Court of Justice had approved the eviction of the 3000 member tribe in order to clear the area for Jewish settlement. The offered "relocation" site was 500 meters from a garbage dump even though Israeli law requires a minimum of 2000 meters.

Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA) peace marches in Zimbabwe were broken up by baton-wielding police who arrested at least 88 of the protestors. WOZA was declared illegal under Zimbabwe's Public Order and Security Act, an act which limits free expression. Three years later in Bulawayo, WOZA's peaceful march against economic and social inequalities faced by Zimbabwean women was also broken up by armed police officers and 60 to 100 women were arrested.

In a suburb of Moscow, Russia, the roof of the Transvaal water park collapses, killing 28 people and wounding more than 100 others with cuts from a thick shower of glass shards. The engineer who designed the structure claimed that terrorists must have attacked the attraction, but the true cause turned out to be his faulty design.

Five women, members of the anti-war group, the Raging Grannies, were arrested at a protest outside a Washington D.C. military recruitment office. The arrests occurred after the Grannies announced that they had come to enlist, chanting, "if someone must die in Iraq, let it be the old." The women were not charged but investigative news reports indicate that their organization has since been under surveillance and the American Civil Liberties Union has commented on the "domestic spying".

Here's hoping this coming Valentine's Day is better than the aforementioned 14. Massacres, police states, war, greed - it's enough to make getting dumped by your sweetheart seem like a walk in the park. If anyone still thinks they've had it rough on February 14th they may be forever out of range of Cupid's bow. It's a better idea just to dust yourself off, make sure that your breath is minty fresh and start practicing some new pick-up lines - because you've probably had it pretty good in comparison, Casanova.